Dr. Freud on My Neuroses

May 16, 2009
Vienna

Mr. Utterberg,

On the surface, your remarks in Oh is not a Number suggest an unusually monogamous relationship with the feminine number zero. At the same time, your extraordinary aversion to the simple mispronunciation "oh" is indicative of a repressed urge toward arithmetic infidelity. Would you be as anxious if the masculine number one were mispronounced "ell"?

As a therapeutic measure, I recommend you make a conscious effort to tolerate inadvertent usages of "oh", and occasionally employ this "slur" yourself. I am certain that the faithful zero will understand.

--Dr. Sigmund Freud

* * * * * *

Dr. Freud,

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I regret that I did not make myself clear: I enjoy my neuroses, and would never think of treating them.

P.S. Zero. Zero. Zero. One.

--CU

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